MKMMA – Week 19: Limbo

I appreciate all who have plowed through my long posts on this blog. This will be my shortest posting. After the weekly call two Sundays ago I decided to leave… or at least read Haanel only once a week. After I made that decision, I felt a huge wonderful feeling, affirming to myself that it was the right thing to do. I wanted to continue doing many of the things I’ve been doing, but that is easier said than done.  I feel like I am in limbo. I cannot leave, yet I cannot stay. I guess I am waiting to be kicked out and denied entrance. I am not participating very much in the alliance and I have not paid it forward this month. The sit just doesn’t happen. I am still doing most of the readings but I do not deserve to be in here. I disagree with the teaching being taught.

I have loved being part of the alliance… especially reporting our acts of kindness. Thank you to all who have commented on my posts.

Peace. Eileen.


MKMMA – Week 18: Cipher in the Snow

I don’t know that this program has done much for me, as of yet, long-term, but I am grateful that doing this program has gotten me going in my business and helped me to do what I say I will do. I haven’t been perfect in everything on my promises but I’d say I’ve done pretty well.

I’ve been with Nikken 15 years. I haven’t done with it much, but am I ever glad I stuck with it. The way we do business has changed, prices are much lower, making it easier for people in the lower ranks and people just starting able to earn money right away. That, and a super mentor has taken my up-line’s place. I know as I take action I will do well. If I really want to  achieve Royal Ambassador, I will.

My rough childhood experiences have helped me stick things out. In 6th grade I hung on to that pull-up bar longer in gym than any other girl in the class… mainly to spite that red-headed girl who sat next to me in school and couldn’t stand me… to prove that I wasn’t a zero. I had an advantage. My last name started with W, which meant I was last and could see how long everyone else stayed up for. Most of them dropped like flies, only lasting for a second or two. I thought they were wimps. I was no athlete. I lacked confidence. I didn’t have a single friend in my school. I was the cipher in the snow. But something sparked in me that day. Sure it hurt my hands and it was hard, but when you want something bad enough you are willing to take some pain and persevere. I lasted a full minute. Of course, little redhead said I cheated. I did not. Some people cannot stand to see people they can’t stand achieve success. It will always be that way.

Here’s a video if you want to watch it. It’s 21 minutes long. Cipher in the Snow. I watched this many times growing up and related to the boy. My home life wasn’t as bad as his, but at school, the neighborhood, and sometimes at home, I felt it. I was the quiet, uncommunicative one, even with my family, and internalized everything. We need to be careful how we treat others. After our family moved to another state as a teenager,

I saw the following in the comments and thought it was great:
“Cipher: A character [0] which, standing by itself, expresses nothing, but when placed at the right hand of a whole number, increases its value tenfold. We all just need to be placed at the right place. Never underestimate the number 0.”

I don’t necessarily need to be a Royal Ambassador. I don’t really have a passion for that. So, what do I want? Thinking about that comment, what I want is to be placed with a lot of other numbers, turning my past zero-self into a gazillion. I want to make a difference. I want my life to matter. I want to have friends and people who care about me. I want my family to respect me. I know that my life matters… probably more than I realize. I want to help people with their health and cause miracles to happen to others. I want to heal people. I want to bring people to Christ and to His only true church. That is what I want the most… especially for my own children.

I know that I as a daughter of God, I am capable of great things and have within me a divine power and potential. I knew this before the MKMMA. I know that as I study the scriptures, spend time in prayer and reflection, that I will gain greater insight in how to tap that potential within me.

I know that God is not some mystical, unknowing being, but a personal God who gives me answers to my prayers and grants me what I ask, when I ask in faith, if it is right. Actually, he always answers, it just might not be what I want or was expecting. He is a personal God with body, parts and passions. I do not have to be in a “sit” or meditation to get direction from God, although being still is important. I know what the Holy Ghost feels like. At times, I feel it very powerfully. I know that during a sit or reading Haanel, I do not feel it very much. I have to two to compare.

I believe that there is much truth with Haanel’s teachings but that there are also twisted truths, or untruths in it designed to have one depend on oneself and away from relying on the atonement of Jesus Christ. There is right and wrong thinking, but there is also righteousness and sin. Satin is real and is deceiving even the very elect. He mingle philosophies of men with scripture. He knows us and our weaknesses. He doesn’t first lead us to sin by telling us to do some terrible sin. It starts small and seems okay, and carefully leads us away from Christ. We are here to learn good from evil and make choices, hopefully good ones.

Throughout this course, this scripture kept coming to my mind. Note that these people did much good. I want to be on the Lord’s side more than I want the things of the world.

 21 ¶Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

 22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

 23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Throughout scripture, it tells how God blesses the people when they are righteous. Sure, you could look at that as think right, in harmony with the “Universal mind” and you the law of attraction will cause you to prosper. Same sort of thing… except where your focus is. The MKMMA has much good in it. Service is good. Love is good. Gratitude is good. I’m not sure how to say all that I want to say.

It is my prayer that we will not blindly follow what one man says just because it was written a long time a go, or some unknown internal source gave it to him (or her). If we continue on the path that leads us away from Christ, we will lose the light of Christ and we will be on our own, or in some other being’s power, until the thread becomes a rope and we cannot escape, and do not even believe that we are doing anything wrong. Trust that still small voice inside of you. It is not always an old blueprint.

Wishing you peace, truth and prosperity,

MKMMA – Week 17: Great Opportunities in Disguise

“I have been given eyes to see and a mind to think and now I know a great secret of life for I perceive, at last, that all my problems, discouragements, and heartaches are, in truth, great opportunities in disguise.” – Greatest Salesman in the World, chapter 11.

Over a week ago I had a big jolt. I received a call from my Nikken upline leader, Reid Nelson, telling me that he was leaving Nikken. This is a man who has been in Nikken for 20 years, a Royal Diamond earning a very large income in Nikken. He said Nikken was going in a direction that he didn’t like. It’s true that Nikken is changing. You have to adapt as the world changes or you will be left behind. The changes are best for the majority of the distributors, and especially for customers. For whatever reason, he is gone and I was slightly tempted to go with him. There were several people between him and me but all in between were not very active and I relied on him. I never thought he would leave.

I had to decide how I would react. Would I be resentful and bitter? No. Would I be able to succeed without Reid? Yes. This would make me stronger. Would I quit and join some other company? No. I’ve been with Nikken 15 years and I’m loyal. I love Nikken.  I remembered what Og said in GS in the World. This is a great opportunity in disguise. That evening was hard, emotionally, working through it. The next day I had decided that in reality, Reid leaving was a good thing and it was good that he had left.

In the previous months, since doing the MKMMA and working on getting my business going, I had been contemplating a lot who I would choose to be my mentor. Reid was certainly qualified, and willing, but with the changes in Nikken, I had the feeling that Reid wasn’t on board and I wanted someone else. I wanted to focus more on customer acquisition, where I felt to him, it would play a small role, even though he said that the changes only meant taking better care of customers. I felt like we all needed to be united and if Reid wasn’t then Nikken wouldn’t grow as much. Not only had he left, but several leaders in his downline, as well. Somehow, I knew it would all work out.

On Tuesday, the global president of Nikken, Ben Woodward, held a special call for all of Nikken. Without going into everything that he said, he said that he believed in the new model so much that he would be stepping down as president and becoming a field leader and be a mentor and help to all the consultants starting February 1. He would be an upline to most people in North America, South America and Europe, taking the spot that was left behind by Reid. So, soon I will have a new upline leader in Ben. I am thrilled.  I like Ben. I’m glad that he knows me. He is one of the best, having been a successful leader in Nikken before he became a corporate leader.

Not only that, I learned yesterday that a leader in my upline that had been inactive in Nikken was now active and is excited about the changes, so I’ll have someone else to help me and work with. There are plenty of others not in my direct line willing to help, but I feel better about staying in my direct line.

Good things do come out of problems, discouragements, and heartaches are great opportunities in disguise. I look forward to working with these great men, and to my future.

MKMMA – Week 16: Some of My Beliefs

I still struggle with some of Haanel and don’t believe all that he writes. I’ve decided to write about what I believe, or know, to be true. Also, I do not agree with some things that Mark J. says. This list is not done and I want to get it, but I’ll probably add to it. Read it or not. I think I’ll post an additional post that came to me after writing this.

  • I know that Jesus was not just a great teacher, as some say, but the literal son of God the Father. He died that we might live. He was resurrected and has a physical, perfected, immortal body.
  • God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are separate beings, yet one in purpose. God cannot dwell inside us, but the Holy Ghost can. The purpose of the Holy Ghost is to testify of truth… most importantly that Jesus is the Christ.
  • We all lived with God before we came here to Earth. We are his spirit children. Before he created us we were intelligences. We always existed.
  • There was a council in heaven to discuss an earth being created for us and who would be our savior. A war in heaven… a war of ideas ensued. Lucifer, who became Satan, the devil, sought to take away our agency and take take the glory of God upon himself. A third of the hosts of heaven followed him. Satan and his host were cast out of heaven and did not receive physical bodies. They are here upon the earth and try to deceive man. Satan is real. All those born into this world accepted Jehovah, or Jesus, as our savior. This life is a test, to prove that we will do all that God commands, and to gain a physical body, and to learn and progress.
  • The fall of Adam and Eve was part of the plan.
  • The account of the Tower of Babel was real. It was not symbolic. The Book of Mormon tells of a Jewish people who came to the American continent who were at the Tower of Babel when the languages were being confused. Jared had his brother, The brother of Jared (a prophet), speak to God to preserve their family and friends language. He did and let them across the sea to the American continent. The Holy Ghost has powerfully testified to me the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon multiple, multiple times.
  • There is good and evil. It is not just that our thinking is good or wrong. I agree that wrong thinking can lead to sin. When we disobey God or his commandments, sins of ommission and sins of commission, we are sinning. Children under the age of 8 are not responsible for sin. Christ’s atonement took care of that.



MKMMA – Week 15: Balance Testing for my PPNs

For over a month or so, I had my PPNs as Legacy and Recognition for Creative Expression. Last week I wrote about how I thought my PPN of Recognition for CE should be True Health, so was revamping my DMP for the last several weeks, trying to get it right, but still struggling.

On Sunday’s webinar, Mark told us to be sure we had the right PPNs… to really find our hearts desire. I was pretty sure of my new PPNs, but I went back on Tuesday and did the exercise in the 2nd webinar. I got nowhere (I always choose the ones at the bottom of the page, no matter what order it’s in). Nothing really jumped out at me.

This week, I am working on observing organization. I watched a video of a woman, Marie Kondo, who has a method of decluttering/organization, the KonMari method. Basically, you start with your clothes… ALL your clothes… and dump them in a pile to shock you into seeing how much you have accumulated. Then you pick up each item and very quickly see if it sparks joy within you. If it sparks joy, you keep it, if not, you get rid of it.

During that video, I got the idea that I could do the same sort of thing with my PPNs. After awhile of this idea persisting in my mind I stopped the video and wrote on seven equal size little papers and wrote the seven PPNs on them, one for each paper (Legacy, Autonomy, Liberty, Recognition for Creative Expression, True Health, Spiritual Growth, and Helping Others). I wanted to see if just the name written on paper would spark some sort of feeling in me, without me even seeing what was on it.

I laid the papers, writing side down on my windowsill and tested each one, holding one at a time against my heart, not looking to see what it said. I made some sort of statement, but I didn’t feel anything special.

I decided to do a balance test… standing straight with feet fairly close together and make a clear statement. If it is true you lean forward, if false, you go backward. I suppose sideways means unsure. This could also be done as a strength test (muscle testing, or kenesiology). With my eyes closed, I stated “What’s written on this paper is my deepest pivial need. It’s my hearts desire.” or “… it is my greatest need”… or something like that.

I had to be very focused and specific. It might be important to say “What’s written on this paper…”.  Obviously, that little scrap of paper isn’t my heart’s desire.

If my body moved forward I put the paper closer to the window. When I did all of them I ead them, and then retested several times. When I got consistent results, I tested which was the most important. My body picked Recognition for Creative Expression as my most important need and Legacy was second. Autonomy was a close third. It was an interesting experience. I had to really concentrate on the paper in hand or results would be screwed. I also had to let go of what I thought I needed/wanted and trust myself to receive the truth, and also in the process or method.

I’m not sure if it works all the time. You have to really focus. Probably being hydrated is a good thing. I did it later for what I want on my DMP and I got nowhere. Take it with a grain of sand. Repeat to make sure you continue to get the same results. I’m not sure if it is better to just say it without the paper, or write it on paper and not see it, or seeing or both. You have to be very specific on the wording. Very clear. No changing thought in mid-sentence. If you do this, don’t just take the first try as being true without getting results consistently.

MKMMA – Week 14: Struggled Again / NARC

I really struggled again this week with some of Haanel’s words. I even thought about… I wouldn’t exactly say quitting… but changing what I was doing and leaving the mastermind group… doing it alone… though I knew that wouldn’t last. I guess that’s still quitting, but not because I couldn’t do it or couldn’t keep up, but because of principle, of belief, and wanting to do the right thing.

I took my decision to leave before Heavenly Father in prayer to confirm that this decision was right. I didn’t feel anything, except a vague feeling that it wasn’t the right decision. I asked if I should keep with it and I felt a strong feeling that I should stay. I’m not saying that I agree with everything that Haanel writes, but that it is what I need to do… to stay. Hopefully I won’t keep vacillating… because I know that that won’t help me get what I want.

I guess I am supposed to write about my experience with NARC (Neurological Associative Reactive Conditioning). I had actually forgotten what this even was or what we were supposed to do when I was filling in the weekly survey, so I Googled it. Last Sunday (no call that day) I sat on my bed with all my materials doing my affirmations, along with my poster… I can be what I will to be. I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy. I am a Royal Ambassador earning $___ (too scary to put in print)  and receive my million dollar bonus by September 30. 2030. I started to get emotional. If I don’t do this (MKMMA, my calls, work my business, etc), then I won’t be a Royal Ambassador. I won’t help countless people get what they want… etc.  If I don’t do this, I won’t win the art competition. If I don’t do this, I won’t get my house… and so on. Each time I said something, I dropped one of my materials or my Greatest Salesman book onto the floor.  I really felt the pain of not having it. It wasn’t quite like throwing it in the trash, but it was similar. Then I picked them up one at a time as I said what I would do to gain what’s on my DMP. I don’t think it was exactly what we were supposed to do, as an exercise, but it was the best I could do.

Last week, I watched the movie, “October Sky”. The main character is trying to build a rocket. At one point, he gives up on his dream and burns the rocket stand that protected him. When he did that I felt like I was burning my DMP. It was heart-wrenching. I guess that was NARC, too.

I’m also struggling with what to write in my DMP, as a PPN has changed. Legacy is definitely still there, but Recognition for Creative Expression should be True Health. Really, I am bored with accolades over my cheesecake. Besides, the sugar in it makes me feel sick. If True Health is my PPN, can I even put cheesecake in my DMP?

On True Health: How can I work my business, which is in the arena of health, if I am not all there? I am pretty much, but I want to be more limber and have a strong back with healthy bones so I can give Rollouts, easily bending over them, as I give a massage-like magnetic, relaxing experience to them, instead of sitting on a bench over them. I want to always be pain-free. I need to be the epitome of health, the one everyone looks to as an example. I want what I want for everyone else: Healthy Body, Mind, Family, Society and Finances. I want True Health… and all that.

Oh… and I’ve decided that I don’t want to concentrate on Royal Ambassador. I’m not sure I really want that. I can change my DMP as I get closer, should I change my mind. What I want is to make people well… to have miracles happen. All that money is hard for me to fathom. I’ll focus on the rank below, which is the one everyone talks about… Royal Diamond. That’s still the epitome of success. The only people that I hear talk about Royal Ambassadorship are the ones who are Royal Diamonds, and only a handful at that . When I talk about being Royal Ambassador, I feel like I am somehow cheating… or telling a fairy tale that no one believes. The most important person to believe it is me… and I can believe Royal Diamond more easily.

MKMMA – Week 13: Beneath the Surface

Last Sunday when I went to do my morning reading of my DMP I felt nauseous. I felt really bad,… uncomfortable…  and I wondered, AGAIN, if this was the Holy Ghost telling me that I was wrong in doing the MKMMA. I didn’t really think that there was anything wrong in creating a plan of action, a Definite Major Purpose… but of other beliefs. I continued on, but reevaluated again whether I wanted to continue… and how to get out of this and still keep my promises… like withdrawing from drugs (prescription or otherwise)… maybe changing the wording over time to make it all okay, somehow.

Somehow, Sunday afternoon’s webcast changed everything for me. I think just knowing that this week was a danger point for many people, and that I wasn’t the only one, that it was just probably my old blueprint trying to keep me from changing, helped immensely.

Christmas day I went for a walk with my husband and I related to him how, having done this program for about 3 months, I would expect to see more changes in me, or to be accomplishing more. It seemed like not much had changed. The changes were slight. The Spirit, or my mind, whatever it was, then reminded me of my readings. My progress is liken to an iceberg. I can only see the top portion. I cannot see what is underneath. I was reminded of this from The Greatest Salesman in the World:

The Scroll Marked III

“The prizes of life are at the end of each journey, not near the beginning, and it I not given to me to know how many steps are necessary in order to reach my goal. Failure I may still encounter at the thousandth step, yet success lies behind the next bend in the road. Never [do] I know know how close it lies [until] I turn the corner. Always do I take another step. If that is of no avail I take another, and yet another. In truth, one step at a time is no too difficult. I persist until I succeed.”

These words from Og Mandina are not just about selling. It is about creating new and good habits, things that I am working on changing in my life. I am becoming a new person and I must be patient with myself.

Why should I expect to see visible changes so soon? Three months is nothing. So much is going on beneath the surface that I cannot yet see… just like an iceberg, or a submarine just slightly bobbing above the surface. Why should I give up so soon, or ever? I’ve had fifty-some years of negative programming, much of it self-inflicted. Why should I expect change to come so quickly and easily? Change, real lasting change, often comes so gradually, it is hard to realizing that one has changed until one looks back… when did that change, when did that happen, you wonder? It was so gradual, you couldn’t see it.

We were greatly blessed this Christmas and the previous several weeks. We were given many unexpected gifts. Some of these things we might have gotten anyway, but I feel that many of them were because I was giving more, and focusing of being grateful… and also, expecting good things to happen… not worrying so much about money or my ability, or lack of it, to give presents.

Here is what we received:

– Two valuable and large framed prints of the Salt Lake Temple were given to us from my husband’s boss. They are very beautiful. This was a temporary seasonal job, which we were grateful for him to have.

– We found a box of food and some presents, including a $50 gift card to BJs, on our doorstep when we came back from caroling others.

– My father gave all of his children $500.

– Just before Christmas my brother gave us $200. I knew it was his turn to give to us, but I wasn’t expecting so much… or in cash.

– I wanted to give my husband the present of a tuned piano, which we got for free over 5 years ago. We never got it tuned… important for a musician. I had an idea and acted on it. I emailed a couple of piano tuners who had advertised their services on Craigs List offering Rollouts in exchange for tuning our piano. A Rollout is like a magnetic massage a long the spine in a certain way, which is very relaxing… and some say therapudic. The morning of Christmas Eve, I received a text from Joe Lord, a piano tuner, offering to come over that morning to tune ours, which he did. He was very nice. He wants to have his sister, who has some scoliosis, have a Rollout. That could be challenging.

– Our friend and home teacher (a man from church whose responsibility it is to visit us each month and look after us… and has visited us faithfully for many years) gave our family a ton of presents (we were just blown away by his generosity). I really appreciate the art supplies.

– Not a monitary thing, but a friend, whom I was influential in her being baptized, called me telling me… that there was no gift big enough that she could give me, thanking me for the great happiness she has received from me in bringing her the gospel. She was extremely grateful, and it made me feel really good.

I hope you all had a very merry Christmas. Eileen.